Topic: Weird Shit
An Indian man with a very rare case of diphallus, or having two wangs, has decided that he is going to have one of them removed so that he can get married and "live a normal life," or some crap like that.
What makes the 24-year-old's case so odd is that both penises are completely formed, functional, and sizable, meaning that this guy could've been a pornography star. So now it's up to doctors, who aren't quite sure how they're going to accomplish the surgery, since both penises are so well formed and working.
But they had better hope they don't screw up, because god help that poor man if he goes from having two penises to a single vagina because of a botched operation.
Posted by James
at 12:59 PM CDT
Today's happy birthday goes out to President Bill Clinton, who turns 60-years-old, making him now too old to run around his offices in Harlem chasing interns, mail room workers and anybody under the age of thirty.
After a drought for a week from the weekly DSCC email, we're back in business, coming to you this week from California's own resident lady of insanity, Senator Barbara Boxer. And please note that we hold nothing against the Democratic party, but cannot fucking stand Sen. Boxer. Let's see what idiotic crap is spewed from her nutzoid mouth.
Seventeen-year-old Jakub Voboril has just made himself the biggest target in the entire state of Kansas by becoming the only person in the country to get perfect scores on both the ACT and SAT. His 36 and 2400 mean that not only is he one smart son of a bitch, but he's probably soft and pink, which means good for punching.
A man who was arrested after being found drunk in his crashed SUV has ratted on his son, telling police that his 4-year-old was behind the wheel when the car smashed into a tree. While daddy was sucking down the open 30-pack of Bud that was found in the car, his son was steering the car, swerving it from side to side while dad drunkenly attempted to correct his driving style.
In the scheme of technology, politics have never really caught up. Sure, all candidates have Web sites and groups of political activists such as Moveon.org have firmly shown their strength. But it's the candidates themselves that have never really grasped the popularity of this "Series of Tubes."
More evidence was laid in stone recently proving that women with breast implants will live longer. An Israeli woman who was near the explosion of a Lebanese rocket was saved when the shrapnel from the blast penetrated her chest, but instead of destroying her organs, were caught in the sweet buttery goodness of her huge honkin' implants.
An entire family in Germany is on the verge of being evicted because their late night prayer sessions are keeping up the whole building. The praying begins sometimes as late as 2:30am, and if you think that is weird, wait until you hear what the patriarc of the religious family has to say.
An American man in Thailand who was looking for a teaching job admitted to the murder of 6-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey 10 years ago when he was in the United States after being arrested for some reason by the Thai police. He has since been detained and is expected to be extradited to the States for a formal interrogation.
Three months ago, the powers that be that were in charge of the daily operation of the Heart of Darko took a good long look at our flagging readership and noticed that when we posted stuff that you couldn't find on regular sites, we were a hit. Other than that, we sucked, because no one wants to read our stupid little jokes about Lebanon (no seriously. that commentor on Saturday called us a "dick bag" - ed.).
It was 29 years ago today that The King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley was found dead in Graceland, hunched over on the throne of heart failure caused from his drug use.
Magician David Copperfield has shocked absolutely no one with the announcement that he's found the Fountain of Youth in the Bahamas, smack in the middle of a tiny group of islands the moronic jackass paid $50 million for recently.
Three Mexican fisherman who were thought to be dead have been found by a Taiwanese fishing crew more than eleven months after they vanished. They were picked up over 5,000 miles away from their home city of San Blas.
One of our favorite lines from any movie comes early in City Slickers where, riding horses, the three NYC gents are discussing a pretty blonde girl that is on the cattle drive with them. The following exhange is classic:
A Homeland Security report has been released by the Associated Press, in which it is clearly stated that airport X-ray scanners cannot detect possible shoe bombs, as they are unable to differentiate between your footwear's material and expolisve devices. The upshot? It doesn't matter, because you're meant to be treated like a piece of crap and still need to take off your shoes, unless you enjoy body cavity searches.
When we were last in Scottsdale (earlier this January - ed.), the city had just instituted a new system of speed cameras on the 101 to stop people from going over the 65 mph limit. These were also used throughout the town to enforce lower speeds. Even though we were in a rental car, we still respected the cameras... except for these two times when it was just too tempting.
Researchers from the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha have discovered a link between hot dog consumption and altered DNA in people, which could lead to a strange form of cancer. Specifically, colon cancer, which we kind of expected, since everytime we've eaten more than one hot dog, our colon has felt like a train was smashing through it.
We always find it interesting that a year and a half before the next Presidential election, candidates begin the stumping. This activity has always started each election season in Iowa, where the state fair is suddenly packed with candidates from both parties hoping to kiss enough ass and eat enough crap carnival food to impress the locals into believing that they're sincere and normal guys, instead of the rich cads that they are.
Sheik Hassan Nasrallah, leader of the radical group Hizbollah, claimed that the terrorist organization had won a strategic battle against Israel after the agreement of a cease-fire, proving that even those against freedom and peace have public relations flack to help them iron out their bad image.
We first saw a Segway self-balancing scooter at the West Palm Beach International Airport, where a meter maid was sitting on his mobile dorkmobile putting a parking ticket under our rental car's wiper blade. While we hid in the bushes and waiting for him to roll his fat ass away, we noticed that learning how to ride on a Segway would take getting some used to, and if this person was a novice, then we could take him by surprise by our Pontiac G6 crap car and get away scot free.