Topic: Weird Shit
Are you a horny Australian man whom has just spent way too much money filling up your Ute or similar vehicle? Well then take your receipt to either The Site of Madame Kerry's brothel for a 20 percent discount on their wide (no pun intended - ed.) selection of prime chippy.
"If you come in and spend time with one of our lovely ladies, we'll give you a discount of 20 cents a liter," Kerry, manager of Sydney brothel The Site, told Reuters Wednesday.
With sessions starting at $150AU for 30 minutes, the discount can come (again, no pun intended) to $30. Now, The Site has taken out ads in newspapers and magazines offering the discount, which, according to Kerry, has increased not only more johns, but media exposure. Once again, Australia trumps all with its legal, and now discounted, hookers.
Congratulations go out to Comedy Central's brilliant The Colbert Report, for adding another notch on their belt of creating satire. Both "truthiness" and Wikiality" have been added to TV's most popular buzzwords by the Global Language Monitor, which also added "Dr. McDreamy" and "Katie" to their list this year. Because we're all about pop culture (until it gets annoying - ed.), definitions are as follows:
Our planned hiatus has taken a break, allowing us a moment or two to post some stupidity from our own judiciary system, once again focusing on professed JonBenet Ramsey Killer John Mark Karr, who was extradited from Bangkok, Thailand, earlier last week to face possible murder charges in the decades-old case. Turns out he just wanted to get the hell out of Thailand before child indecency charges were brought against him there. 
Unfortunately, it is time for us to announce that we at the Heart of Darko will be entering an extended hiatus on Monday, August 28. During this period, there will be possible chances that we will be able to post, but they will come sporadically at best.
Welcome to Heart of Darko's weekly dissection of the email sent to us by the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, an organization determined to get more left-leaning power in Congress, usually through the art of shit talking. Today's email comes from Senator Robert Byrd, who usually doesn't have much to say about anything, unless it's on CSPAN.
The Las Vegas marriage bureau has announced that starting August 31, there will be no more late night weddings in the city, meaning that all drunken celebrities who wish to get married to hookers or childhood friends will either have to obtain a marriage license before midnight or just get drunk when it's light out.
The owner of the restaurant "Hitler's Cross" in Bombay, India, has announced that he will indeed change the name toease tension caused by his attempt to get more publicity, which worked well considering that even penny-ante little crapsites like ours reported on this 
A bookkeeper in New York has pleaded guilty yesterday to "borrowing" more than $2.3 million from her former boss over a period of three years to keep up her horrible scratch-off lottery ticket problem. Annie Donnelly admitted that she sometimes spent over $6,000 a day on lottery tickets and meant to pay the money back.
A rare albino set of Pygmy Marmoset monkeys has been born at a zoo in Sweden, ushering in a new era of monkey fear. At only 35cm long and 100 grams in weight, the tiny little bastards can easily crawl through a nose, ear, mouth, or, god help us all, anus, and take your body down from the inside while the pandas, otters, alligators, raccoons, snakehead fish and fish with human teeth wage war on your head, arms and ankles.
A 78-year-old woman has filed a harassment suit against her 14-year-old neighbor for meowing at her everytime he sees her. The judge has had such a hard time deciding whether or not meowing is indeed a form of harassment that she has put off her ruling for 90 days in order to figure things out.
The most embarrassing thing that one can possibly have happen to oneself would be to have an army of pint-sized girls with berets and pigtails serving you lawsuit papers to your door because you did not pay for the cookies that you bought.
DUI defendant Joshua J. Beury made a huge mistake when showing up in court to plead not guilty to his charges yesterday afternoon; he showed up drunker than when he was previously arrested. He had blown a .17 when he was taken into custody after crashing his car in November, but in court, he decided the best way to calm his nerves was to drink so much beer that he blew a .20.
A 30-year-old former Marine who currently teaches a former of strength-training martial arts at a Utah gym took down a man who after recently being arrested from jail for assault walked out of a 7-11 convenience store without paying for a carton of cigarettes and punched a female clerk in the face.
A German robber who held up a woman in her apartment was caught at the airport after his victim saw him waiting to board the same flight she was about to take back home from Turkey.
Washington state is reeling after a sudden rise in attacks by a species of violent, rabid raccoons, which have claimed 10 cats, one dog and a woman's arm in the recent past.
Swedish news station SVT News accidentally aired a 5-minute clip of hardcore Czech pornography during a newsbreak recently. The monitor which was showing the porn was one of many in a bank of video screens in the background behind the anchorman, who showed no knowledge of the goings-on behind him throughout his news reading.
18 men held in an Indonesian prison escaped over the weekend by blinding guards with liquified chili peppers in water bottles to held aide in their freedom excursion.
While we were rummaging through the awful events of our world in The Dallas Morning News while sitting on the can, we discovered probably the funniest story of the day, that we have yet to find on the Web. So because of the absolute ridiculous hilarity of the story, we're going to type it here for your reading pleasure.
In recent weeks, it seems as if every Democrat on the planet has pulled out a blade and begun to twist it into the back of Senator Joe Lieberman, whom is on the compaign trail, attempting to win his re-election. Now, another former leftist loser is helping out with the back-stabbing. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, once again John Kerry is attempting to keep his name in the news by blasting Joey L. for something that Kerry knows much about; campaigning while losing.