Topic: Politics
Ha, sorry guys. We didn't expect the entire address to be about immigration. So after the tequila shot, hopefully you guys pounded enough Corona quickly enough to drown out the crap that was flowing from Dubya's mouth.
So what did we think? With the help of our hairy, four-legged interns, we determined that this was political pandering. Actually, it was quite obvious. It was calling out your co-workers in front of a large group of your friends to embarrass them into doing what you want.
It was also an attempt to bring back the "compassionate conservatism" that Bush promised in the 2000 election and hasn't done since. Perhaps some immigration reform will be upheld, but not to the level he called for tonight. There's no way illegal immigrants that are already here are going to out themselves to get "licensed," especially after they were made to sound like terrorists, what with all their "sneaking."
We'll see what the political fallout will be like tomorrow. For now, just sit down quickly before all the liquor kicks in and enjoy Prison Break and 24. Also, don't forget that the Dallas Mavericks and San Antonio Spurs play tonight at 8:30 CST. Go Mavs!
Posted by James
at 7:40 PM CDT
Hooray! It's back! With President Douche giving less State of the Union addresses than any other president in the history of the United States (this one isn't even called a SOU - ed.), we've been itching to fire off a new drinking game for something political. our humble beginnings as an awful little bit of political commentary fueled our rage and alcohol intake.
1980's Libya used to be today's Iran; a hotbed of possible nuclear activity with some perhaps terrorists maybe running around causing problems. The only thing that has really changed between the two situations is the Bush that is in office. That and even Moammar Gadhafi was like "Iranian dude, you are waaaaaay in the wrong buddy."
Karl Rove just blew our mind.
It's been weeks since we've heard any word from the Duke lacrosse team scandal that has been worth reporting. The last releases that came from anybody were just normal attorney blow-hardiness. But today, something has changed.
People wonder why there is hatred for our country. We are one of the richest in the world, with hundreds of millions spent each year purchasing and "pimping" our vehicles, while in a country such as Palestine, owning a 1984 Alfa Romeo Spider means you are one of the richest men alive.
What is there to do this weekend in this wonderfully dimwitted country of ours? Let's take a look to see how we can get you off the couch and spending some money for the good of our economy.
After the media hullabaloo has finally blown over after it was reveal that the memoir of James Frey should have really been called A Million Little Lies, what else is there to do besides take your millions of dollars and hide out somewhere nobody will know you? Sit on a beach and get drunk? Bang a Thai hooker?
A Korean man broke into a woman's Tokyo house, took her money, tied her up, and then proceeded to give her an hours-long shoulder massage to keep her relaxed and calm until he could go use her ATM card.
Kinky Friedman, that lovable Jewish cowboy/singer with the maverick political sense and strong support base, received 169,574 signatures (one of them, proudly, is ours - ed.) to get his name on the 2006 ballet for Governor of the State of Texas. An independent candidate needs only 45,540 to run, so even with the comptrollers counting them up, he's in and ready to go.
The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation has done some fantastic thing for women worldwide. Especially their breasts. And we love us some breasts. But before we praise their breast work anymore, we should note how they have decided to have MLB players swing away this weekend with pink Louisville Sluggers.
A group of American sports hunters took down a large white bear recently and noticed that it did not look like the bear from the Coca-Cola commercials. Instead, this marauding monster has been confirmed as the wild's first animal hybrid and has been discovered to be half grizzly and half polar bear.
Yesterday we reported that Howard Stern was thinking of coming back to terrestrial radio and simulcast his show. Today he has said that he will not.
Andy Warhol is a fantastic wacko, full of odd ideas and creative artistic something or other that cannot be called talent. His Andy Warhol's Frankenstein is one of the worst horror movies ever made. His hair is obnoxious, he's an odd dresser, but the man knew how to paint a can of Campbell's soup.
A frighteningly obese man who was so depressed after killing two elderly people in a car accident finally finished his penance walk across America last evening, over one year after he began it. Steve Vaught also dropped 100 pounds during the approximately 3,000 mile trip, now weighing in at about 310 pounds. So he's still as big as a buffalo, but at least only as much as a heifer.