Topic: Politics
President Bush must be cursing his standing up for the United Arab Emirates ports deal, since it's caused his ratings to plummet back towards the mid-30s and has even taken him out of favor in his won party. With just 37 percent of the American people not giving their approval for the President, and his Republican support dropping from 82 percent to 74 percent, it's a wonder he doesn't just show up on TV and give everyone the bird. At least that way he'd get the youth vote again.Iraq, however, is getting some mixed numbers. 77 percent of you think that the country's going to break out in civil war at anytime, even though we'd put the argument out that it already is, what with the whole one side fighting against the other side, but I guess until they break up into units and start training, then there won't be a... oh, wait... they're already doing that.
Anyway, even with that 77 percent of you getting ready for war, you're split down the middle on whether or not a democratic government will form, with 48 percent saying both yes and no. So which is it America? Which is it? We all know Bush can't get it right, but can Iraq? You decide. Text your votes in now. Seacrest, out.
MSNBC
Posted by James
at 10:35 AM CST
Many famous inventors and scientists have lamented their creations only after they have been unleashed upon the world. But Robert Probst is perhaps the only to do so from the grave.
In an attempt to help stop sexual harassment in the office, a Mexican company is creating a line of sex dolls in executive and business attire. They're meant to be taken to work and put in a woman's office in her place, which would thus scare the men because it helps to show that women are not objects.
The Dubai company that was to take over management control of major United States ports withdrew its bid today, saying that they will turn over control to a U.S.-owned company to help quelch bad thoughts between America and the United Arab Emirates. This announcement comes only hours after politicians against the ports deal stood up, beat their chest and held out their arms at Bush in a gangland style of saying "bring it on sucka duck."
We're going to be running some routine maintenance (i.e. pulling a dead raccoon out of the server with a broom handle - ed.) this morning, so posting will be delayed until we can get him and his fur coat out of our processor. See you back here this afternoon.
Russia is nothing but a bunch of smelly, frozen mush-headed, poverty stricken socialists. There, we said it. Iran, on the other hand, are equally as smelly, burnt to a crisp, we don't know what they eat but it's in their heads, and they have more money Islamo-fascists.
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is known for being a master businessman who is able to raise crumbled corporations out of nothing and turn them into successes. As a government leader, he finally realized he needed to help out not only the country, but the entire world by giving some complicated financial advise that would help the poverty stricken endure and come out ahead. Prepare yourself for some of the greatest money advise you have ever heard in your entire life:
The Roman Catholic archdiocese of Dublin announced today that they will begin investigating a massive number of priests for inappropriate behavior with young children. That total number since 1940 is 350 complaints involving 102 children.
After reporting of the accidental "sex with a horse in Seattle" death of a man late last year, we would've thought that surely that was enough major bestiality stories for at least six months, right? We were entirely wrong, as this trove of horrendous drunken behavior movies further East and landing in Mesa, Arizona, where it has struck a local deputy fire chief.
We here at The Heart of Darko have never claimed to be the world's best spellers. We're pretty good, if we do say so ourselves, but we're also easily distracted. But if we were an incredibly famous entertainer who has won every award conceivable in our multitude of chosen fields, we'd be sure that we got a spell checker before putting something inflammatory about someone's intelligence on the Internet.
Your grandmother might have taken you bowling at a young age, thus giving you a skill that you are still able to thrust in your drunk friends' faces whenever you put on those special, leather-soled shoes, but this grandmother could kick your granny's ass.
Because a nice settlement just said sure why not allow the Blackberry community to keep their gatekeepers to the modern world, we're adding a new topic to our list; technology.
In what will no doubt become a series of a dozen shitty cop movies over the next two years, half of which will star Steven Seagal, five former LAPD officers have been arrested for carrying out false searches and warrants on drug houses and then stealing money, guns and dope to sell on the streets.
A south Florida cat that was used as point blank target practice by some asshole with a .22 will carry six bullets with her for the rest of her three remaining lives as police search for the perp.
Because they have their "best interest's at heart," the NFL player's union rejected the final salary cap proposal given today by the owner's union, thus throwing many of their revered and celebrated veteran football players under the wheels of a speeding bus because they wanted more mediation money.
As we 
Oh David Gregory, you madman of NBC. Besides being a massive chop dick who is so obviously in love with Katie Couric that you should just lick her the next time you fill on for Matt Lauer on Today, you're also notable for being the White House correspondent for NBC who called Scotty McClellan a jerk after you attacked him on not knowing the answer to one of your questions.