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Because a nice settlement just said sure why not allow the Blackberry community to keep their gatekeepers to the modern world, we're adding a new topic to our list; technology.
In what will no doubt become a series of a dozen shitty cop movies over the next two years, half of which will star Steven Seagal, five former LAPD officers have been arrested for carrying out false searches and warrants on drug houses and then stealing money, guns and dope to sell on the streets.
A south Florida cat that was used as point blank target practice by some asshole with a .22 will carry six bullets with her for the rest of her three remaining lives as police search for the perp.
Because they have their "best interest's at heart," the NFL player's union rejected the final salary cap proposal given today by the owner's union, thus throwing many of their revered and celebrated veteran football players under the wheels of a speeding bus because they wanted more mediation money.
As we reported late last month, the world's largest heist ever took place in London and involved a kidnapping, two teams of thieves, and no gunfire.
Oh David Gregory, you madman of NBC. Besides being a massive chop dick who is so obviously in love with Katie Couric that you should just lick her the next time you fill on for Matt Lauer on Today, you're also notable for being the White House correspondent for NBC who called Scotty McClellan a jerk after you attacked him on not knowing the answer to one of your questions.
The Ohio woman who kept multiple special needs children that she had adopted in steel cages with alarms said that the mentally handicapped kids actually, wait for it, ASKED to sleep in cages.
With a case of bird flu jumping from a bird to a car in Germany and successfully killing it, people every have returned to the bird flu freak out. Germany is requiring that all cats be kept in doors. The Bahamas are testing dead flamingos to see if they died of the disease, all the while the company that makes Tamiflu is probably wiping their ass with $100 bills while laughing maniacally.
No one has ever claimed Philly to be a city of class and taste, but it appears that their drug problem is getting way out of hand. Police confirmed that a seven-year-old girl brought 18 bags of cocaine to her elementary school and then passed them around the classroom, during which times a couple of the curious kids ate some of the white powder.
A team of Scottish artisan distillers have completed, and plan on selling, a 184-proof whisky. As you may remember from high school, a proof of 184 means that the libation is 92 percent alcohol, meaning more than two tablespoonfuls could kill you. Or at least make you the life of the party.
Stock in Google dropped over $50 today after the company's CFO announced that growth was slowing down and "largely organic." The stock currently rests at $357.37, down $33, meaning that it had a slight recovery since Wall Street freaked out and began to dump the stock, which some financial advisors have called a high risk because of Google's lack of assets.
What with the Dubai port anger and all the Cheney shooting his friend stuff, President Bush's approval ratings took a slide from the 42% it was at last week to an astoundingly low 34% this week, pretty much because people don't trust anything Arab.
We have all been inundated by the stories already; New Orleans is returning to what it was. Drunks are back, women are flashing and the bars are open. That can only mean one thing; we're in town.
A 40-year-old Scottsdale man was found at his home with a whopping .345 blood alcohol concentration after he passed out and his 5-year-old daughter called 911. Alcohol experts (how exactly does one attain this job? - ed.) said that with this level of drink in his system, the effects were close to those of surgical anesthesia.
Torino was a wonderful host city to athletes from across the world. They kept their bars open late for drunkards like Bode Miller and gave out large baskets of free Olympic-themed condoms (note to porn industry; why no Olympic pornos? that's a huge international audience you're missing. we call dibs! if you make one, it was our idea and we want royalties! - ed.).
Just, wow. Ford Motor Company is being sued by Argentinian labor officials for kidnapping and torture today. The officials claimed that during the country's "Dirty War" period of 1976 - 1983, they were taken from their homes, beaten and electrically shocked during the then-dictatorship's "cleansing" of hostiles and dissidents.
