Topic: National News
Seventeen-year-old Jakub Voboril has just made himself the biggest target in the entire state of Kansas by becoming the only person in the country to get perfect scores on both the ACT and SAT. His 36 and 2400 mean that not only is he one smart son of a bitch, but he's probably soft and pink, which means good for punching.
Voboril had the following to say after learning of his aces:
"It's weird, because before I took it, I checked out a couple books from the library. I expected there to be this big secret that all the smart people had that I just had to read.
"But I found out there's not a secret formula. Obviously, you have to pay attention in classes, take classes that are going to teach you what you need to know — that sort of thing."
Jesus Christ. We want to drive up to Kansas and beat this kid up and we're not even jealous of him. Just angry at his flippant way of speaking. At least jump up and down and say things like "No one can challenge the great Jakob Voboril! I can kill you with my brain!"
