Topic: Animals vs. Humans
Three different panda births in the past three days have raised alarm in mostly us, worrying that the stupid bears have finally figured out how to reproduce and will soon have armys powerful enough to break free of their human captors and run amok across the globe, destroying croplands and caging humans in some weird Panet of the Bears society.
The worst news regarding these momentous births were that two pandas also gave birth to sets of twins, meaning that the Chinese panda bears are able to reproduce at double the normal rate, bumping up the takeover timeline. Meanwhile a "boss panda" or "giant panda" as scientists prefer to call them, gave birth to the pink monster you see to the right, causing concern that even if we were to be able to take down the Chinese pandas, or "grunts," we would have to face a breed of super-pandas, like the Brutes out of Halo 2.
So do your civic duty, America, and have your pandas spayed and neutered. We can't afford to have these and the snakehead fish teaming up to take us down.
