Topic: Politics
We received the weekly DSCC email earlier today, after not getting one last week, thus throwing off our ability to make fun of politicians to close out a Friday. So because of our ire that was raised because of this, we're going to look at Senaor Tom Daschle's email today, which was simply titled "Craven," which continues the last email we received and the previous one. Guess the Senators like to shock you with one word...
Who can forget the 2002 Georgia Senate elections, where the Republican Party shamelessly ran ads attacking the patriotism of Sen. Max Cleland - a man who gave two legs and an arm for his country in Vietnam? - Max Cleland is an idiot. There's no way you can make us feel bad for someone else making fun of a moron. At least they weren't making fun of his amputations.
Or the 2004 Presidential election, where similar nonsense was employed against three-time Purple Heart recipient John Kerry? - But wasn't it Kerry making claims about actions he didn't take part in? Not saying he's not a war hero, because he is. Just saying that a lot of Nam vets were high on horse the whole time.
In the 2006 Senate midterm elections, Karl Rove has already served notice that we are in for more of the same. - Well sure, it worked for them the last time. We expect Republicans to attack and Democrats to whine. You must overcome, folks. Just like when you get shot down by a hot chick in a bar. You just wait for her to get drunk and then dive back in. So wait until America gets drunk, and then you can take her home.
The cruel genius of these scurrilous attacks is that they work - unless they are immediately and unquestionably rebutted. - Wait. Wait for it...
The one and only way we can fight back is with your help. The DSCC has set an ambitious goal of raising $1 million before Labor Day. - Oh! There it is. The only way you can help the Democrats hire a search party to find their balls is by donating money. Nice try Daschle. We're pretty easily fooled, but you've gotta promise us rainshowers of beer or clean strippers on every corner dancing for free. Attack ads ain't gnna sway us dude. Better luck next time.
