Topic: Embarrassment
The son of a bond owner who gave a homeless man $100 for returning $21,000 in savings bonds must now feel like a total heel, as outpouring from Detroit and the entire country has given the hobo over $4,000 in compensation for his good deed.
After finding the bonds in a trash can while searching for returnable glass bottles, the homeless samaritan took them to a local shelter and asked the workers there to help him find the proper owner, which they promptly did. After news was released about the man's selfless actions, business leaders and compassionate Americans from across the country turned out support, including large bags of returnable bottles, jars of spare change, thousands of dollars in cash and even a job interview.
The 59-year-old former roofer, Charles Moore, is grateful for the assistance, and should now take a shit on the porch of the bastards who stiffed him for finding their money. We mean like, a big, land mind-sized dropping that leaves a permanent mark on their doorstep. If Mr. Moore needs help creating one, we can purchase him some Chinese food, because in our current monetary situation, that's really all we have to offer.
P.S. - We totally would have kept the bonds. We're not really very nice guys.
