Texas Becomes Hell on Earth; We Hide in a Glass and Concrete Building
Topic: Texas News

Texas is drier than a ninety year old woman, and now that the winds have picked up across the northern region of the state, it appears that the devil has decided to build a summer home here, as fires are continuing to rage across the region. So far, one person has died and hundreds of homes (both stationary and the motor variety, we might add - ed.) have been destroyed in the blazes.

"It’s dry as a bone, and brittle,” said Oklahoma City Fire Department spokesman Brian Stanaland. “The fire is traveling extremely rapidly."

So stay out of North and Central Texas and Southern Oklahoma. Not that you'd really have a reason to come up here anyway. But we're still confused, because even though it's dry and pretty windy this morning, we still found a patch of mud last night outside of the bar that went about up to mid-thigh. Try talking to women when you're covered in Earth dookie and you will know our pain.


MSNBC