Topic: Media
Robert Novak, that glorious vaginal hair who outed Valerie Plame before shrugging his shoulders as if saying "feh," who most recently walked off of a CNN set and was thusly suspended, has just announced that after his contract is up with the 24 hours news station, he will in fact take his circus act of douchery to FOX NEWS.Did this honestly surprise anyone? We like FOX NEWS better than CNN. It doesn't insult us as much. But CNN is about as liberal a news organization as they come, and FOX just suits Novak's form of slobbering idiocy better.
So good luck Robert! Maybe you can out someone important over there too. *cough, Tom Cruise, cough*
TVNEWSER via MEDIA BISTRO
Posted by James
at 4:49 PM CST
Perhaps on the news today that President Bush allowed the National Security Agency to monitor the phone calls and e-mails of thousands of foreigners living in America, the Patriot Act reauthorization was slammed down by the Senate only a day after its drunken brother, the House of Representatives, overwhelmingly approved its provisions.
Howard Stern, the self-proclaimed "King of All Media," (dream on, egomaniac - ed.) bid farewell to Earth-bound radio today with his final broadcast for Infinity, who has played home to show for way too long.
Are you single, rich, full of yourself and living in Chicago? Then Pete Gugni, a former jeweler who currently manages the trendy (i.e. full of tools - ed.) Reserve club, has got the perfect drink for you: the Ruby Red, a combination of orange vodka, cognac, pomegranate liqueur, champagne, orange juice, and a one carat ruby.
The Tokyo zoo noticed that when some of its Emperor Penguins began to gain some winter weight, they'd slow down, start breathing hard when going up stairs, and took more and more "Snickers breaks."
Even though the Senate gave the proposed Patriot Act a loud "meh," before shrugging it off, its drunken little brother, the House of Representatives, gave it the stamp of approval with a 251-174 vote. Whew, close for the little fister, wasn't it?
In a speech to the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, President Bush admitted that much of the intelligence for which he based his decision to oust Saddam Hussein three years ago was, in fact, incorrect. However, has followed this up by saying that it was the right thing to do (which we begrudgingly agree with - ed.) and that he'd do it again.
It's no secret that despite our being under house arrest and unable to leave the state of Texas, our baseball heart belongs to the Atlanta Braves. But now, the evil Time Warner is marketing the team around, hoping to unload them. You know, because winning your division and going to the playoffs for the past decade straight is a financial strain, or something.
A 91-year-old British man bet 500 pounds sterling on 6/1 odds that he would die before December 7, 2005, with the hopes that the winnings would go to his wife to offset the 3,000 pound inheritance tax that she would be faced with after he expires.
The recent French riots raged for two weeks. One person was killed, hundreds injured, and Peugeot probably is pissing themselves with glee at how many cars were destroyed. What really came out of it was the idea given to Germany that France can still easily be conquered, especially after the country was overrun by teenagers and the police were powerful against the Zit Army.
The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning, and taking the most honors was director Ang Lee's gay cowboy film "Brokeback Mountain," the touching story of two sheepherders who fall in love and continue their affair after both are married and have families.
Today saw early voting begin in the 2005 Iraqi Parliamentary elections, which drew outrage from militant groups across the war-torn country, including Al Qaida in Iraq (yeah, there's a good group to look for people being reasonable - ed.) calling the elections a "satanic project."
The redistricting of Texas helped the GOP, without a doubt. They gained extra seats in Congress because of it and seriously hurt Democratic fundraising. Now, the architect of the new district map, Tom DeLay, is watching as his morally compromised baby is taken to the Supreme Court, not only to check the validity of the redrawing, but mostly to see if it was Constitutional.
Unless Governor Schwarzenegger gives Tookie Williams a stay of execution at the eleventh hour or a judge agrees with "new evidence" that Tookie did not kill four people in 1979, the founder of the Crips will die tonight at midnight PST.
The King of Pop's publicist has reigned hellfire and damnation down upon the perpetrators who felt it necessary to spread rumors of Michael's overdose and drug/alcohol problems.
A 29-year-old Arkansas man described by a psychiatrist as "psychotic" and "manic" was arrested earlier this week for jumping the White House fence and running for glory to find his one true love and the woman he was destined to marry; Miss Chelsea Clinton.
Sure, we all know about the flip-flopping of John Kerry on whether we should be in Iraq or not. We also know that Howard Dean is insane. But what we can't know or predict is what the hell will happen now that the new GOP advertising campaign is about to come out and call the Democrats straight up pussies.
If you're going on trial, the last thing you should probably do is make yourself sound better than everyone else. Apparently, no one told that to Saddam Hussein and his co-defendants, who made some pretty idiotic complaints, considering they had "rape rooms" and gassed thousands of innocent people.
Now for more embarrassing moments with the French in three easy steps.