Topic: National News
Want to go on strike in a town where the actual law says you can't? Guess what you get? A million dollar fine. Plus, your workers' union also gets hit with a $25k fine.And that's not total. Ugh ugh lazy bitches. That's per day. Plus, Judge Teddy Jones might hit you up with some jail time tomorrow. Still want to strike? Especially when there are pictures of you sleeping on your $50,000 a year job. Where you get health benefits. And lots of time off. No good lazy bitches. Hell, we'll drive your damn bus for $50k a year and health insurance.
BRIET BART
GAWKER
Posted by James
at 3:41 PM CST
While many in America believe that calling cocaine "blow" is truly the epitome of cool, we have always preferred to call it "Bolivian marching powder." It appears now that the coca grower turned politician my actually win the Bolivian presidential election. But by a very thin margin.
Out of the blue, the new poll numbers show that despite the recent stumbles for the Bush administration, the President's approval rating has shot up to 47%, from the previous week's low of 39%. While 52% still think he's fucking shit up, the eight point jump in approval is big news for the embattled POTUS, who saw angered reactions over Harriet Miers, Iraq and the economy.
Perhaps a better name for the Greensboro, North Carolina bar "Hemingway's Downtown" would've been "Stupid Concept." The upscale drinkery, where an older crowd pays a membership fee to drink overpriced martinis and smoke cigars, is now being sued by the heirs of celebrated author and booze hound Ernest Hemingway's over the name of their bar, which the owner said was monikered such because of a dog he had a younger age.
Congratulations to the GOP Congress. Mere days after being called "the most corrupt Congress in our history" by Democratic douchebag and Senate minority leader Harry Reid, you did what no one expected: you proved him right.
Poor Wellington, New Zealand. A riot of 40 Santas, all drunk off their jolly asses, acted as a scourge of god Sunday in Wellington, punching security guards, throwing beer bottles and stealing from stores. The group, which was comprised of both men and women, terrorized the town, probably in a salute to hero Billy Bob Thornton, who showed the world the kind of drunken lout Santa really is in the holiday film Bad Santa.
Robert Novak, that glorious vaginal hair who outed Valerie Plame before shrugging his shoulders as if saying "feh," who most recently walked off of a CNN set and was thusly suspended, has just announced that after his contract is up with the 24 hours news station, he will in fact take his circus act of douchery to FOX NEWS.
Perhaps on the news today that President Bush allowed the National Security Agency to monitor the phone calls and e-mails of thousands of foreigners living in America, the Patriot Act reauthorization was slammed down by the Senate only a day after its drunken brother, the House of Representatives, overwhelmingly approved its provisions.
Howard Stern, the self-proclaimed "King of All Media," (dream on, egomaniac - ed.) bid farewell to Earth-bound radio today with his final broadcast for Infinity, who has played home to show for way too long.
Are you single, rich, full of yourself and living in Chicago? Then Pete Gugni, a former jeweler who currently manages the trendy (i.e. full of tools - ed.) Reserve club, has got the perfect drink for you: the Ruby Red, a combination of orange vodka, cognac, pomegranate liqueur, champagne, orange juice, and a one carat ruby.
The Tokyo zoo noticed that when some of its Emperor Penguins began to gain some winter weight, they'd slow down, start breathing hard when going up stairs, and took more and more "Snickers breaks."
Even though the Senate gave the proposed Patriot Act a loud "meh," before shrugging it off, its drunken little brother, the House of Representatives, gave it the stamp of approval with a 251-174 vote. Whew, close for the little fister, wasn't it?
It's no secret that despite our being under house arrest and unable to leave the state of Texas, our baseball heart belongs to the Atlanta Braves. But now, the evil Time Warner is marketing the team around, hoping to unload them. You know, because winning your division and going to the playoffs for the past decade straight is a financial strain, or something.
A 91-year-old British man bet 500 pounds sterling on 6/1 odds that he would die before December 7, 2005, with the hopes that the winnings would go to his wife to offset the 3,000 pound inheritance tax that she would be faced with after he expires.
The recent French riots raged for two weeks. One person was killed, hundreds injured, and Peugeot probably is pissing themselves with glee at how many cars were destroyed. What really came out of it was the idea given to Germany that France can still easily be conquered, especially after the country was overrun by teenagers and the police were powerful against the Zit Army.
The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning, and taking the most honors was director Ang Lee's gay cowboy film "Brokeback Mountain," the touching story of two sheepherders who fall in love and continue their affair after both are married and have families.
Today saw early voting begin in the 2005 Iraqi Parliamentary elections, which drew outrage from militant groups across the war-torn country, including Al Qaida in Iraq (yeah, there's a good group to look for people being reasonable - ed.) calling the elections a "satanic project."
The redistricting of Texas helped the GOP, without a doubt. They gained extra seats in Congress because of it and seriously hurt Democratic fundraising. Now, the architect of the new district map, Tom DeLay, is watching as his morally compromised baby is taken to the Supreme Court, not only to check the validity of the redrawing, but mostly to see if it was Constitutional.