Topic: National News
American pharmaceutical firm Pfizer, makers of such wonder drugs as Viagra and probably a bunch of others, has announced that they're joining your baby's favorite company, Johnson & Johnson, to create possibly the creepiest drug and medical manufacturing firm in the world. The $16.6 billion deal will give Pfizer a whopping $13.5 billion in profits, all of which will be spent on literal ten-foot-tall solid gold penises for all executives at the company."These are extraordinary assets that will bring sustainable long-term value to the shareholders of Johnson & Johnson," Johnson & Johnson Chairman and Chief Executive William C. Weldon said. "We felt these were very important to us and we should make sure we bring them in."
Jesus Christ, is it just us, or does anything that anybody says about the company that makes Viagra just sound creepy?
AP
Posted by James
at 11:37 AM CDT
