Topic: Weird Shit
A woman who just could not seem to get her head out of winning the ability to pay her phone bill at the Resorts Atlantic City casino plopped a baby out on the floor beneath her stool, never breaking her stride on the penny slots. The woman reportedly told paramedics and onlookers that she thought the labor pains were just bad gas. Fucking eww.
But seriously, she did think the labor pains were gas before going to the bathroom, from which she emerged a short time later to tell a security guard she thought she was giving birth. The guard, no shit, laughed at her, until her water broke five minutes later. Then he had to completely bite his tongue and help deliver the premature bundle of casino magic, which is currently doing fine.
This is a lesson to all of you chronic gamblers. Learn from the kids at the prom and just leave your babies in the toilets, because you can't win that rent money if you're in the hospital.
